（本篇经典文章献给芦苇小妹子）
时间是1988年。
假文人因为中学读书不用功，
结果高中被分配到一所`没名气`到绝顶的烂高中就读。
学校烂是烂，
但就跟餐厅越脏食物越棒的原理一样，
假文人的高中生涯，
是好玩的咯~
首先，
由于它是烂高中，
所以聚集的学生都是半桶水的那批（包括本人）。
不够格念初级学院；
却又够格念A水准学府。
这样的一批年轻人，
聚在热血澎湃的17岁教室里，
当然不会很用心念书。
玩，
是我们当时的唯一学科。
有一天，
永远铁着脸的历史老师带着比平常更铁青的脸出现。
手上拿着一张历史测验活页纸，
劈头就对印度同学 Basheer大骂起来。。
骂完更是直接就把活页纸撕成两半，
似乎那是世上就没用的垃圾。
但这张垃圾却成了放学后大家欢乐的最大来源。
丝毫不知羞愧为何物的Basheer，
更是快乐的享受着那成为 center of attraction的快感。
后来假文人在学业上有另外的发展，
提早结束了烂校园生活。
上课的最后一天，
Basheer亲自献上那篇活宝，
说给假文人作个纪念。
原本被撕开成两页的考卷，
已经用粘纸细细贴好。
那一刻，
感受到搞笑艺人的温情。
Discuss the problems faced by the Straits Settlements between the years 1826 and 1867. To what extend did the transfer of the Straits Settlements to the Colonial Office in 1867 help to solve these problems.
There were many problems faced by the Straits Settlements between the year 1826 and 1867, The first problem was inexperience officels and there is also shortage of experience officels sent by Indian government. The officels were not trained very well so they found difficulties to ran the goverment. So the Indian officels invites some forigen officels (?) from British to help them to government. So, Fullerton and and some British officels comes to the Straits to help the officels. There is also lack of food and water (??) in the Straits. Many people were starving to death (??). Without food the people intends to eat tapioca and potatoes (???). There was lack of water because there was no rains since three years (??). The state was in a drought. This was another problem faced by the Straits Settlement. Due to this, the Straits imports bun and breads from Australia (?), to give people who suffering without food. They also puts long pipes from Suez Canal to collect water from it (?). The third problem is that the Straits were often attack by pirates. The Straits so seek help from India. The Indian government sent some new bullcarts to defend against the pirates (?). But however the bullcarts will be offend destroy by the pirates. The pirates use weapon eg: parangs to kill the bulls (??). The major problems was that the officals will offend bribed. As a result of this the government lost the revenue. So to stop this bribed, the government order that the person who bribed will be given a public canning (?). But however this reduced the rate at bribed. The officels were frightened at this canning and never be bribed.
There was a dispute between two secret societies called Gee Sans and Hai Hin (?).This fight was endless. This fight whoever distruped tin trade in Kuala Kangsar. This was the most major problems faced the government. So they asked for help from the British. The British send representative called William Pickering (when?) and followed by large number of sepoys to wiped out the secret societies. The Sepoys get a terrible blow, many Sepoys were killed and William Pickering was badly hurt. So the British send three tonner and some British tanks to attack the pirate (??). But it was in vein. So the government tried to use the A-team but they were in the jail for stealing dauburmun’s food (??????). So it was the biggest problem face by the government. Next, there were lack of homes, most houses and factories were blown down in the Napolenic war (???). So the government build small huts for the homeless people. There were many other problems but I only knew this few important facts which is very important.
END
1/25 WHAT GARBISH IS THIS ???
（大字、问号皆为老师批阅时所写）
哈哈哈，
就是这样一篇东西。
对新加坡不熟悉的朋友，
千万不要被 Basheer误导，
我们的历史，
真的不是这样的。
ps：Basheer最后留言：
“REMEMBER ME”
When ever you see this.
Thank-you
Basheer the hamster
21.9.1988
Basheer，
不管你在哪里，
我永远记得你。
